Transformers: Rise of the Beasts, is the unwieldy name held by the 7th ‘live action’ transformers film. From the outside it might seem like just another sequel, in a franchise with peeling paint and tired carpets. But, it’s really a reboot, or a requal or prequel that’s a half reboot, or something. Set in the mid 90’s, Rise of the Beasts reinvigorates and renews the franchise. It takes familiar robots characters and casts new human helpers. And, unlike the last transformers film I reviewed, where the new cast was an attempt at a blood transfusion to a sickly format. These new humans have taking it off life support, given it a welcome redecoration. They’ve transformed Transformers.

Michael Bay directed 5 of the previous films and his influence and taste are all over them. Bumblebee, the 6th, was a narrative break and experiment in making a prequel that left the canon of the franchise largely intact. If it flunked there was time and space to pretend that it never happened, to go back to the formula. Transformers 7 doubles down. It sets itself as more sequel to Bumblebee than full franchise movie. Starting to quietly rub away at the links to the previous films. To let them slip into legend and bypass a lot of the confusing and increasingly conflicting canon that had been built. It is much better for this and in a way that Marvel movies increasingly aren’t, feels like it’s own story with minimal tie ins. Right until the end that is, when something incredibly unexpected happens, but we’ll get to that.

I have a soft spot for movies with good first acts, the ‘how did this come to be’ and ‘what is the problem’ parts of films, where we flip though indexed cards of all the players, set up the stakes and the love interests. Rise of the Beasts has a lot of heart in the beginning, there’s a little tease and set up of the robot beasts at the beginning, then there’s a solid 20mins dedicated to the people in the film before we see another robot. In this time Anthony Ramos is placed as a down on his luck ex-military type who wants to make things better for his brother and mother. While Dominique Fishback is established as the intern who actually knows her stuff and covers for her less well educated boss at a museum. Fishback is at the beginning of her acting career and had a standout performance in Judas and the Black Messiah a couple of years ago, she’s a delight here too. Ramos is really the main character and gets a little more of a background, but they’re both great. The important part is that in a film full of all powerful unkillable robots, they constantly have a contribution, there are things only they can do and things only they know.

The movie sets to balance the power of its transformers with the skills and humanity of its more squishy protagonists. It mostly succeeds, but as we approach the mandatory big cgi battle at the end, it begins to slip. Generally the paying off, the delivery and digitally rendered pinnacle of the film, is worse than its smaller moments. Which, I guess, is the way I’d rather have it. Also I was so impressed by a Transformers film that was finding its own way, trying to be something else. So it was easy to forgive some foibles in the enormous robot fight department.

The demographic for Transformers has long been teenage boys and wannabe teenage boys so the positioning of this movie, as a bit more family friendly, a bit less leeringly sexual, is refreshing. The Transformers themselves also look better, designs are less busy, faces more cartoonish. The cheap to do, but cheaper to look at transformations from the previous film, where the car turns into a cloud of particles before a robot, are gone. There’s a mechanical and real feeling to how the robots move and transform. Look I can’t find endless synonyms for transform and transformers in a review of a Transformers film, I’m as sorry to keep writing it as you are to keep reading it. This down to earth, back to basics vibe, clashes with it being Transformers: Subtitle. The Subtile itself, the Rising Beasts themselves are a little tacked on, a little extra, almost like they came from the bayoverse transformers and were hastily toned down.

Of all the robots, beasts (different robots) and humans, the standout cast member was Pete Davidson, who plays Mirage a transformer who can project doubles of himself. I’ve had a soft spot for Davidson since The King of Staten Island, a semi-autobiographical film where his performance was excellent. Because of that I kinda missed the opportunity to hate him for being a bit of a fuckboy, he’s always been much endeared to me. Here, Davidson is definitely doing more of a character than just playing himself, but his best lines are all pure himself. He gets a few that are just for the parents, he gets to be a kinda silly robot while kicking just enough ass.

I tuned out of the big final battle that everything inevitably ends in. It just wasn’t that interesting, they kinda never are. It managed to make the people feel fragile and important, which was nice, but we’ve all seen so many of these we know that the goodies will win and it will work out. There’s an interesting fight where Ramos puts on the remains of a dead transformer like an Iron Man suit and socks a transformer a bit, beats him up. It was an interesting take, I didn’t expect it and it will sell a bunch of toys. But again, these fights are pretty predicable eye candy at this point, the focus drifts away from the humans and onto towers of CGI metal and I stop paying attention.

That’s meant to be it, the plots rapped up, but when all is thought done. The film seems to remember despite it being 15 years post Iron Man, we are still doing crossover team up franchise movies. Michael Kelly appears and asks Ramos if he wants to join GI JOE.

So the Hasbro Cinematic Universe is born, two vaguely connected toy franchises merge into one. We’re doing the whole thing again, with hero’s, villains and the infinitely expanding canon. Expect a Play-Doh™ origin story, The Monopoly Man™ turning up in live action Peppa Pig™ adaption, firing a Nerf™ gun at Cobra Commander™, or fending off My Little Pony™ villains. There is so much connectedness come from this, opportunities to see your favourites with your other favourites. It’s by far the worst moment of the film, puzzling at first, then maybe intriguing. Then, remembering the decade+ Marvel experience, exhausting.